At just 19 years old I became a mother to a perfect little girl. I quickly married the father months before. Being raised in an LDS family my desire was to get married in the temple a year later. I soon realized this was not my spouse’s desire. Finding myself in an abusive relationship I went to my bishop, I went to counselors, and I went to my knees for guidance and safety.
At just 21 years old I became a single mother. I was in a place of self-hatred knowing my mistakes led me to fail the perfect plan. Most crippling was the pain and guilt I felt for disappointing my Heavenly Father.
It has been three years since I left my abuser and two since I left the church. In this time I have felt freedom from guilt, anxiety, shame, and judgment. I no longer punish myself for falling short of perfection. With this new found autonomy I choose to go wherever I feel love, happiness, and fulfillment. That may be camping on Sunday or it may be having Sunday dinner with loved Mormon friends and family. The choice is mine.

These are stories of health and happiness outside the Mormon church.

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Losing my religion wasn’t the end

The Mormon faith has always been a strong influence in my life and upbringing. However at a young age, I chose to become inactive. I was a very confused young adult with a lot of questions. The answer I was given: to pray... which I did but I still felt very unsure...

Freedom and Actual Happiness

After being raised Mormon, going on a mission and marrying a Mormon, I gathered the courage to leave it about two and a half years ago. Though consequently it resulted in a divorce, I have never been happier. I am now free to live, think and feel how I want to. I live...

Losing My Life and Finding It

“Where will you go?” long before these words were uttered from the pulpit, I had them written in my heart, and they were terrifying to me. The youngest child of an extremely devout, conservative LDS family, the Church was my reality. I never missed Sunday School or...

Oh hey, it’s me.

I have nothing but fond experiences growing up in the church. I grew up in a family that loves the church deeply. I was so grateful for it! It wasn't until after I got married in the temple at 19, that certain things didn't feel as right or at home like they had used...

The world is richer and fuller than you can possibly imagine

The world is richer and fuller than you can possibly imagine. Culture, food, and whatever you feel you need to experience it is yours and no one elses. Go out of your comfort zone. Leaving has opened a whole possibility and discovery of beauty you will miss if you...

I will go where the Spirit Leads

I was ushered out of the church 30 some odd years ago when I came out at Ricks (BYU Idaho). I wasn't ex'd, I was just no longer Mormon. I floundered for a very long time, because back then there wasn't a network as there is now. Over the years I have found love and...