I didn’t go anywhere! I’m still here, committed to bettering myself and the world around me. I think all of us are walking toward similar goals though our methods, beliefs, and hopes may differ.

When you leave a structured belief system, you are forced to rebuild. I have had the privilege of crafting my own support system as well as help build them for those around me with similar stories. I have been able to advocate for the LGBT community without fear of being silenced or looked down upon by those whom I once placed above me. If there is a god, nobody stands between us now.

“Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.”

-William Ernest Henley

Ryan in AZ

These are stories of health and happiness outside the Mormon church.

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The Simple Life

At the age of 9 I was baptized into the Mormon Church with the rest of my family after having met with missionaries. I was an on again off again member for a while until 2001 when my family and I were sealed together in the Salt Lake Temple. From there I was a fully...

Those who wander are not always lost

In response to "where will you go?" I say, "those who wander are not always lost," and there is "joy in the journey." The first part is a popular quote from J.R.R. Tolkien, the second part is from the 1998 EFY theme and together they sum up what my spiritual journey...

I can finally enjoy life

I left the LDS church 7 years ago. In that time I have become my genuine self, made lasting and beautiful friendships with people who love me unconditionally, gotten married to the love of my life, and had a gorgeous and healthy child. I don't judge others as harshly...

Towards Love, Authenticity, and a Genuine Daily Life

10 years ago as a gay, newly divorced father of four and former Mormon, where I would go and what I would do was indeed the looming question. A lifetime of seminary, sunday school, priesthood, mission, BYU and church leadership had me imagining myself at best as a...

I will find happiness

The Mormon church has been apart of my family for generations and I would say it is still a part of my culture. I learned a lot of things from being an active member, a bishop’s daughter, and a youth leader. I learned to how to be confident speaking in front of a...

Losing my religion wasn’t the end

The Mormon faith has always been a strong influence in my life and upbringing. However at a young age, I chose to become inactive. I was a very confused young adult with a lot of questions. The answer I was given: to pray... which I did but I still felt very unsure...