In September 2015, I posted on my blog about the reasons why I had my faith transition and the choices I made as a result.

Since then, I’ve spent the last year or so working on rebuilding. So many parts of my life were built on my Mormon identity and I’ve essentially had to pick through all of those and determine which were pieces that I wanted to keep.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve had relationships that are likely irreparably damaged as a result of my leaving. It’s been heartbreaking every single time. But, I’ve discovered that by being authentic and honest with the people around me, I’ve made more meaningful and deep relationships. The friends I had before my transition who are my friends now are even closer and we’ve grown together.

I feel like a whole new world of humanity has opened up to `me. By taking off the gospel lens from my vision, I’ve become more forgiving and compassionate. I have been willing to see the good of diversity of opinion. I’ve started living more in the present rather than planning for the eternities. I no longer read or view material afraid of what answers I might find. I’ve become more introspective and able to see my own faults and correct them. I care more about how my words and actions impact people. I am learning new things every single day.

I’ve had the opportunity to teach my daughter about being kind without having the message muddled by telling her to hate the sin and love the sinner. We just love now without reservation.

I’ve rediscovered a love of travel. My family and I are taking and planning trips to places I’ve always wanted to visit but have been too scared to travel to. We are learning about cultures and people without any reservations.

I knew when I became public about my disaffection from the LDS Church that many people would not understand. In spite of the many negative consequences of leaving, I can say without reservation that I am happier than I ever have been in my entire life. My life is not perfect or without pain, but I feel more confident and equipped to handle my problems with the help of the new community I have created.

Emily in UT

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